Red Witch Biscuits
It was a dark and stormy night. I was all alone closing up the shop. With the shelves dusted and the dishes clean, there was only one thing left to do, put the cheeses to bed. One by one, I wrapped, straightened and stacked each one with care. Like singing a lullaby to a baby, I whistled a little song as I prepared the cheeses to be at their very best for the morning customers. On this particular evening, there was an uneasiness in the air, as if someone or something were lurking about. Convincing myself that this was impossible, I continued to care for the cheeses while whistling my tune. Suddenly, in the dim lights, I saw a shadow that quickly zipped by me. Catching my breath, I told myself that it simply must be lights from the passing cars outside. But there it was again! his time with a sharp, cold breeze that blew back my scarf and rustled my hair. I froze, paralyzed with fear. My voice, shaking asked, “Peter? Kiri? Chris? Is anyone there?” Seconds ticked off the clock and minutes off of my life. Slowly, from behind the charcuterie case, a shadow arose. I had nowhere to run, no voice to scream, no one to help me. I hear someone whistling now. It’s not me, I’m sure of it. I can barely breath, barely stand. Who is whistling? It’s piercing and becoming louder. I cover my ears and drop to the floor, it’s unbearable. When I look up, an outline of a witch is hovering. A Red Witch. The whistling is coming from her, this thing, this ghost. Why? She abruptly stops the whistling, and with a booming, craggily voice speaks: “ChrrrristTeeeeen. STOP THE DAMN WHISTLING! Everynight we cheeses have to listen to your loud, annoying, off-pitch whistling. Enough already!” Then poof! She was gone. The End.
10 tablespoons cold butter cut into 1/4” cubes*
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt*
3/4 cups buttermilk
1/2 lb Red Witch, grated (about 1 1/2 cups)*
Items with an asterisk can be found at The Cheese Shop of Salem!
Heat the oven to 400 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder and salt; toss in the butter. Working quickly, blend the butter into the flour mixture by using your hands. When properly blended, the texture should resemble coarse meal and have pea sized pieces of dough throughout.
Using a fork, stir in the milk until just moistened and the dough comes together. Gently mix in about 1 cup of the grated cheese.
Scoop the dough out into 8 mounds (about 1/3 cup each), onto the lined baking sheet. Sprinkle each with remaining cheese and bake for 25 minutes.
Want to make this recipe even easier?! Grab a bag of Callie’s Buttermilk Biscuit mix from the shop when you get your cheese!